I don’t even know how to start this post. September 15th I found out I had breast cancer (coincidental, or not, as some of you know was the same date my dear dad was in an accident that ultimately took his life, so earmarks a chapter in my life..reborn. I think God sent me that day as a sign of encouragement and a reminder that my dad still remains ever present in my life.
Halloween day I began chemotherapy. If I said it was a piece of cake, I’d be lying. It was tough..tougher than I expected. (that’s a whole entire post in itself). I still cry when I see someone else eating a popsicle, cause there is only one kind of chemo that requires you to eat popsicles during treatment and I know what they are in for, it totally kicks butt, and I remember how it feels. But with the grace of God, the prayers of each of you, the encouragement of all my family and friends, the continuous help from my colleagues at work, and the support from my boys, my mom and my in-laws, I was able to climb my mountain and can see the end in sight…it is still in the distance, but I can see it now. I can never thank each of you enough for all your support during this time. 16 treatments and 6 months later…I am done! I am done! Praise God I am done…with chemo) Next stop…surgery.
Final Countdown
As I was walking down the hall to my final round, I was thinking of all the wonderful people I’ve met. It may seem odd to you, but this day was so bittersweet. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be finished, but to know I won’t be seeing a lot of the people there again, to know how their story continues, to see there faces, is sad. I’ve cried with some, I’ve laughed with many, I know their trials. I also know this is why I have traveled this road. You can’t truly know how to help someone if you haven’t traveled it also..as much as you might want to, it’s just not the same kinda empathy, my prayer is God will continue using me to help others facing this same journey. We all have journeys and they are not the same, your journey may allow you to help someone in ways I cannot because I haven’t traveled that road.
God will never ask you to walk alone. He never left my side. He told me I would overcome this and constantly showed me how to place my own situation in perspective. He ALWAYs places people in my path to help me navigate trials and this one was no different. I’ll never forget Mr.David and his sweet smile, helping me, encouraging me, showing me the ropes of my first treatment. He loves the Lord and praised him all the way. There are too many I’ve met to be able to list them all but 2 that stand out the most are my dear chemo sisters Ms. Stephanie and Ms. Darlene. These 2 ladies are my rock. I met Stephanie early on and we connected like we had always known each other. Then we met Darlene later on and took her under our wing, we were her “David,” showed her the ropes. They both love the Lord and praise him all the way. I am so thankful God brought us together. Ms. Stephanie celebrated her end, or rather win, last week and she came back to celebrate my end/win with me today…she will never know how much that meant to me!
Surreal = connecting that port for the final time, praying your labs hold steady, donning those icy mits and shoes, compassionate nurses, dripping Ivs, conversations with friends. How do you move on from here? This has been such an important part of life, healing, sharing, encouraging but whats next. It’s hard to imagine life before. Don’t get me wrong… I’m ready for normalcy but I’ll always remember this chapter and the lessons it has taught me.
Dearest mom, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this was harder on you than me. As a mother myself, I get it. And thank you. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for calling your “tribe” to pray for me. Your tribe then called other tribes and its unfathomable how many prayers were lifted up…all because my mother knows the power of prayer.
Cheers, here’s to a new chapter! It’s not over but its getting closer. Dear Eric and Paycen, thank you for your patience during the hard days, laughter thru the pain and helping me to keep things normal during a time of severe unnormacy. I Love you both dearly and thank God for you! Looking forward to what’s ahead!